I Heart Voting in Ohio

Here in Ohio, Secretary of State Jon Husted launched an online poll for Ohioans (or anyone else who knows an Ohio zip code) to vote for a new voting sticker (as many times as they want). This stirred up a bit of controversy because some of the sticker options include the state motto, “With God All Things Are Possible.”

The sticker above was leading the pack (by a lot) before Hement Mehta encouraged readers to vote for the second place sticker, which doesn’t include the motto.

PZ also mentioned the poll and a repeat-voting campaign on the Cleveland Freethinkers Facebook page cropped up. Soon the numbers were close—very close.

The result? God got voted out of Ohio!

Well, sort of—it’s just a stupid sticker and the motto remains. A victory nonetheless. Congratulations, secular Ohio!

Bin Laden Not a Muslim Leader? Obama, Please.

I’m not going to write about Bin Laden’s death or the political ramifications of it. Nor will I write about the conspiracy theories I’m starting to find among my Facebook network. Instead, I want to take issue with one little part of Obama’s little speech.

“Our war is not against Islam, because Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader. He was a mass murderer of Muslims”

Really? Interesting.

Should we forget that Bin Laden declared jihad—defined as a holy war undertaken by Muslims—on the U.S.? And that he opened said declaration with:

It is God that we thank and it is God whose help and forgiveness we seek and whose name we uphold against our own evil and our wrongdoings. Whoever is guided by God cannot be misled and whoever misleads can find no guidance. I declare that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is his subject and messenger. (FBIS Report)

Should we forget that Bin Laden saidthat “Muslims need a leader who can unite them and establish the ‘pious caliphate’.”?

Surely he doesn't mean the Muslim version of paradise...

Should we forget that 30 seconds on Wiki-fuckin-pedia—as Tim Minchin might say—should make it obvious to anyone who can read that Al Qa’ida is an Islamic organization that was headed by Bin Laden?

Should we forget that Joseph Stalin was a Soviet leader and a mass murderer of Soviet people, and accept that because Bin Laden was a mass murder of Muslims that he was not a Muslim leader?

Should we forget Obama’s blatant dishonesty and continual pandering to the religious and reelect him anyway? Well, yeah, I guess the answer is unfortunately “yes” on that last one.

#atheism Twatheisms

#Atheism Twatheism is a collection of the best tweets tagged #atheism from that day or so. If you’d like to see your tweets included, you can get my direct attention by using the hash tag, #ITAS.



A Logical Proof of God

Much has been said and written concerning the existence of God. Theist and atheist alike have spent countless hours debating this topic, desperately attempting to prove their case with enough solid evidence to convince the other, and the world. I believe that lost in the crossfire is a simple answer that will once and for all prove the existence of God.

Before I elaborate, it is important to define the word “God” as it will be used in this essay. I do not speak just of the existence of any higher being. Three key characteristics make up God:

Omnipotence—God is all-powerful

Omniscience—God is all-knowing

Omnibenevolence—God is all-good

Furthermore, I intend to logically prove not only the existence of God in the aforementioned sense, but the existence of the God of the Bible.

The foundation of this proof can be laid using the follow argument:

1. If the Bible is true, God exists.

2. The Bible is true.

3. Therefore, God exists.

Of course, the conclusion only holds true if all of its premises are true. So let’s examine each of the stated premises.

Premise 1: If the Bible is true, God exists.

I don’t believe anyone with any knowledge of the Bible would contest this premise. The Bible clearly asserts that God, in His omnipotence, omniscience and omnibenevolence, does indeed exist. Any further discussion on this premise would only prove to be tiresome and non-enlightening, considering the overwhelming consensus of its truthfulness. I’ll give one example:

Psalms 14:1

The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God …

Premise 2: The Bible is true.

This is where dissenters might look to for a flaw in the argument and so, I will go into greater detail in providing credence to this premise. By laying out a separate argument specific to this premise, a proof of its truthfulness can be provided:

A. If God says the Bible is true, the Bible is true.

B. God said the Bible is true.

C. Therefore the Bible is true.

Again, examination of each of these premises is necessary in order to thoroughly eliminate any doubt of its credibility.

Premise A: If God says the Bible is true, the Bible is true.

Again, a lengthy explanation is not needed here. Remember that God, by definition, is omniscient and omnibenevolent. By being all-knowing, He surely knows whether or not the Bible is true. As an all-good being, God cannot lie about this, or anything else. So, what God states concerning anything is necessarily the Truth.

Premise B: God said the Bible is true.

God’s own words appear in the Bible making those parts inherently true based on the explanation of premise A. Furthermore, many examples can be found of God saying in His own word that the Bible is His Word. Again, God, by definition, cannot lie. Here is one of many examples of God stating the Truth of the Bible:

Proverbs 30:5

Every word of God is pure …

Conclusion (C): The Bible is true.

We’ve just proven that premises A and B are true and therefore premise C, the Bible is True, logically follows.

Note that the verse from Proverbs not only supports premise B, but also denies the potential (though silly) contention that being all-good may not necessarily mean He cannot lie. We’ve proven the Bible to be true, so this statement of the purity of God’s Word is necessarily true.

Conclusion (3): God Exists.

By proving that (1) if the Bible is true, God exists, and (2) the Bible is true, we can conclude with confidence the (3) God (as defined by the Bible) exists.

What I’ve provided here is a simple, logical proof to answer the question that has sparked debates for centuries. I hope that with this the issue can finally be put to rest.

Although it was necessary to spell out this proof in some detail, the main point was first eloquently stated by Stephen Colbert on The Daily Show:

It’s God’s logic, as written in the Bible, every word of which is true, and we know every word is true because the Bible says that the Bible is true and, if you remember from earlier in this sentence, every word of the Bible is true.

The Climate of Faith

NPR ran this article about a scattering of islands in the South Pacific that make up the country of Kiribati (listen) that could soon find itself underwater due to the rising sea levels in part caused by climate change.

But there is good news—the former president, current member of parliament, and biblical literalist, Teburoro Tito, says it ain’t gonna happen:

I’m not easily taken by global scientists prophesizing the future … Saying we’re going to be under the water, that I don’t believe, because people belong to God, and God is not so silly to allow people to perish just like that.

Am I missing something here or is this guy completely delusional? He doesn’t think his god would be “silly” enough to allow a mere 90,000 people perish?

I wonder how he explains the 2004 Tsunami that wiped out 230,000 people. Perhaps Tito missed the Haiti earthquake that killed over 300,000JUST LAST YEAR. And let’s not forgot the silly 1931 China floods that killed millions! I could go on and on and on…

This biblical literalist has also, it seems, never read the Bible. If Tito believes the Bible is the literal word of God, he must also believe all of the mass murder and genocide committed by and ordered by God really happened. Let’s not even talk about the flood, when he intentionally murdered almost every living creature on the planet. Instead let’s name just a couple of the many other examples found in the Bible.

I Samuel 6:19 And he asmote the men of Beth-shemesh, because they had blooked into the ark of the Lord, even he smote of the people fifty thousand and threescore and ten men: and the people lamented, because the Lord had smitten many of the people with a great slaughter.

Deuteronomy 7:2 And when the Lord thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly adestroy them; thou shalt bmake no ccovenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them:

Better yet, just open the Bible and put your finger on the page. Chances are you will point to an example of God killing somebody—often children.

Silly God.

The Rebel Alliance Causes Hurricanes

Joseph Herrin from the Parables blog recently made a post connecting abortion to the Gulf oil spill.

Now, I won’t contend with his obviously well-thought-out conclusion, but I have to take issue with another point he brings up.

Before flushing-out his oil spill theory, he uses the following graphic to remind us how hurricane Ike was a message from God referring to Isaac in his mother’s womb;

I’ll give him that with the nice little labels, it does kind of look like an unborn child. But when I first saw the satellite image of Ike, I saw something completely different. Judge for yourself:

It would appear as if Luke and his squirrely band of rebels are causing hurricanes in the Gulf. F those guys.


I was extremely disturbed to hear the news about Carl Worthington, defendant in an Oregon faith healing case, receiving 60 days in jail for relying on faith and prayer instead of medical attention when his daughter fell ill. In fact, I was utterly appalled.

What has this country come to? We now live in a society where atheists and homosexuals are free to infect our children with their backwards ideas, and a loving father like Mr. Worthington is put in jail for having faith in God!

Please don’t misunderstand me—I was as saddened as anyone to hear that his 15-month-old daughter was no longer with us after perishing from pneumonia and a related blood infection. But one needs to understand that this precious little girl would have died even if she had received medical care for her easily treatable inflictions. How do I know? Because it was her time to die—if it wasn’t, she wouldn’t have.

Zadkiel was said to be the Angel who prevented...

Image via Wikipedia

I commend Mr. Worthington and his wife (who was not convicted of the same misdemeanor, but still suffered through a grueling trial) for exercising a faith in the Lord reminiscent of Abraham’s as he raised the blade to sacrifice Isaac. We should all have as much courage and faith.

But why stop there?

From this day forward I will refrain from polluting my body with worldly foods and begin relying on the Lord to fill my stomach with the Holy Spirit.

I’m not suggesting a mere 40 day fast. I’m talking about a complete reliance on Christ to provide the spiritual feeding needed to sustain me through the rest of my days.

I challenge every one of you to join me along with my wife and kids in our quest to become closer to Jesus.

God bless you!

Disclaimer: This is satire. If you are a Christian who also happens to be very stupid, please do not stop eating.

*UPDATE: Faith-Eating Kills

**UPDATE: More Potential Faith-Eaters

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Letter from a Christian Nation

Dear School Board of America,

I’m writing this here letter to tell you that you should teach Integillent Design in our school science classes.
Integillent Design is a scientific fact because it says so in the Bible and we know the Bible is fact because there are still monkeys. Unlike evolution, which is just a THEORY.
Now I know some of those damned atheists out there are trying to redefine what a scientific theory is, saying things like, “scientific theories don’t graduate into scientific laws” and “scientific theories are made up of laws, hypotheses and accepted knowledge, and are testable explanations of facts.” What does this jibber-jabber even mean? Now, we all know theories are just guesses, like it says in the Constitution, which was written by the Bible.
These are the same faggot atheists, you see, that are trying to change what atheist means. They want us to believe that “atheism is simply a lack of belief in a god or gods and doesn’t necessitate a belief in Darwinism or anything else, nor does it claim to know for certain that gods or unicorns or leprechauns don’t exist.” Now that’s just horseshit! Jesus said to his pet dinosaur that atheists are queers who worship the devil and pretend not to believe in God because they want to have butt sex and murder babies.
Is this crap what our kids should be learning in science class? No. They should be learning the word of God, which is in the Bible, which we know is true because God said so in the Bible.
Jesusly yours,
John Q. Christiansen

A Conversation with God: Free Will

God, why if you are wholly good did you make a world in which people rape and murder, commit genocide and other atrocities?

I’ve given my children free will. Everyone has the capacity for both good and evil, it is up to the individual to choose the correct patch.

Why didn’t you just make people who would always choose good?

My son, one cannot be said to truly have free will if one must always choose good. Free will is one of the greatest gifts given to mankind.

But why is free will good?

Free will is the essence of existence—surely you can see how free will is not only good, but necessary.

So if free will is good, and you are good, and good is you, does that mean that you too have free will?

Indeed. Man was made in my image. I too have free will. I am also all-good, so it follows that my choices are always good.

Well, why didn’t you just make everyone like that?

You see, um…….. well one must understand… er……… I’M A MYSTERY! WOOOOO, NOBODY CAN KNOW MY MIND! WOOOOOO….. ahem, mysteryyyyyyy…..

Thank Averageness!

From now on, I will be striving diligently towards average. God takes all the credit for anything good, and Satan gets the nod for the bad. The one thing that I can call my own is mediocrity, which is okay, I guess.


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