Gay Island

 

The following is a piece I wrote back in 2004—long before ITAS. I rediscovered it while going through my old computer’s documents, so I thought this would be a good place for it.

Supporters of legislation that limits marriage to include only heterosexuals are fighting a losing battle. Right-winged attempts to push through legislation to ban gay marriage are destined to fail in the long run. The answer is not to keep gays apart; in fact, the simple solution is just the opposite. Homosexuality is a growing epidemic that plagues our society and should be dealt with the same way any other epidemic is dealt with: quarantine.

By gathering the gays and giving them their own space to live amongst each other, apart from the rest of the country, we not only satisfy the gays by allowing them to marry, we also satisfy those who oppose homosexuality by removing them from our society; everyone’s happy. It will also help stop the spread of homosexuality, which is clearly a learned behavior, by preventing gays from infecting the minds of our children. Since they cannot procreate, they will eventually die off.  Problem solved. No longer will these sinners be able to tear at the moral fabric of our society that was all but shredded in 1967 when the remaining 16 states with anti-interracial marriage legislation lost that battle. The only hitch is the “bisexuals,” who we’ll have to monitor and extract any children they have. Some might say, “why let them die off, why not just kill them now?” This idea is just ridiculous. Of course we will let them live out their normal lives. Why dispose of them now when we can continue to collect taxes from them for decades longer?

This plan, however, will not work on its own. The Constitution will never allow for such a thing and amending it will not do. That is why we must do away with the Constitution and instead look to a higher law, God’s law. By using the Bible as the sole law of the land and making Christianity the official religion, we will be able to cut through all the meaningless bureaucracy. Priests will replace judges and will decide whether “an eye for an eye” or “turn the other cheek” methodology will be applied. Non-Christian citizens, along with those wishing to become citizens, will be given mandatory Bible classes (Jews, of course, will only need half of these classes).  At first it may seem unfair to force a particular religion.  However, we will actually be performing a service to these people by showing them the errors of their ways and bringing the truth into their lives.

Once this is done we will then be able to go forth with the quarantine plan. Will it be easy? No. Will it take time? Yes. But we must be patient—we how can we truly call ourselves Christians if we don’t have patience?

April’s Fools: Tweligionists 2012

Every year on April 1 Christians attempt to pass off a tired joke as cleverness. So I like to find some of those tweets and add my own commentary. Enjoy!

 

Well in this case, actually, yes. Because it’s not a real holiday.

About your story: no there wasn’t.

It falls on April Fools Day every year. That’s the joke. And isn’t even a real thing. So, no, it’s not ironic. #ohh

Good morning Gretchen! I don’t think Jesus can hear you. Science 14:1 Dead people can’t hear. #surpriseNOGOD

It’s actually kind of shitty out here.

 

NicoleErika is embracing it:

Godlesss Atheist continues to educate xians about their own religion:

Stephen sums it all up nicely:

Microtectonics Vs Macrotectonics

German scientist Alfred Wegener first proposed his idea of continental drift in 1912. According to Wegener, the continents appeared to fit together, much like the pieces of a jig-saw puzzle, and therefore must have been broken apart from one “supercontinent,” which he called, Urkontinent. This was the original name for the hypothetical land mass that is now referred to as Pangea.

Today, neo-Wegenerists attempt to confuse children by teaching them about plate tectonics, which is basically a rebranded version of Wegener’s original theory. What they don’t tell you is just that—it’s nothing more than a theory with no evidence to support it.

So is plate tectonics true? Surprisingly, yes! Sort of. It’s important to make a distinction between the two types of tectonics: microtectonics and macrotectonicts.

Microtectonics describes the movement of continents within an area. It is well established that continents can shift slightly from year to year. There is a slight, but measurable difference between the positioning of the continents over time.

An extreme example of microtectonics would be the shifting of the entire island of Japan by as much as 2 meters following the 9.0 magnitude earthquake that struck the Godless nation. Although this is far more than the typical movement observed, it remains within the bounds of the same area.

Macrotectonics, on the other hand, is what Wegenerian proponents attempt to convince us of. That is, the idea that continents can break apart and come together to form entirely different continents. The problem is, no one has ever observed one continent change into another continent.

Of course, a Europe and an Asia can come together to make a Eurasia; they are all part of the same area. But an Australia will never become an Africa. If Wegenerism is true, why haven’t we found any evidence of an Austrafrica?

In the end, believing in Wegenerian macrotectonics takes a leap of faith that I’m not willing to take.

Farewell, Hitch

The world is now less articulate.

 

Christopher Hitchens, 13 April 1949 – 15 December 2011

PODCAST: Ryan Haupt

Science… Sort of… Sort Of


Download this episode (right click and save)

The hiatus ends with Ryan Haupt of the Science… Sort Of podcast!

  • Find out more about Science… Sort Of by visiting the website.
  • Read Ryan’s stuff on iFanboy.

Stuff we talk about in this episode:

Theme music, “Lazy White Atheist Blues,” by T. Randolph Scott

911 Dichotomy

I don’t have an interesting story about what I was doing 10 years ago today. I wasn’t in New York or D.C. I didn’t have family or friends in harm’s way. I was 21 years old, driving a sandwich truck in Cleveland, gathering bits information from construction workers as I went from site to site.

The chaos and tragedy of the news I was hearing stood in stark contrast to the mundane nature of my life and that day, making it particularly surreal. The day stands as a vivid memory of a foggy experience. I imagine this is not an unusual recollection of September 11th.

10 years later we are all looking back on that day and it’s important not to oversimplify when reflecting on the role religion played. Like with most things, we see a division between the left and right—one insisting that Islam is not to blame for the attacks and the other holding all Muslims responsible.

They’re both wrong. At least on those two points. And, in other ways, both sides are right. Do we really need  fall into one of these camps? Can we not say that, yes, the attacks were carried out because of Islam, and no, the Muslim family down the street are not terrorists?

Of course it would be unjust to hold all Muslims responsible and of course the blame should be laid with the disgusting perpetrators, but to suggest that the September 11th attacks were not religious or that Islam was not the driving force. And please, let’s avoid making false Scotsmen out of Osama Bin Laden and friends by claiming that they are/were not “real” Muslims.

Even President Obama, speaking to the nation after killing Bin Laden, sought to downplay Bin Laden’s religious motives, if not eliminate them. Could anything be more vile than to create a fiction about such an important event and attempt to sell it to the victims’ families just to avoid saying anything critical about any religion at any cost?

To say that Islam was not the driving force behind the attacks is to rationalize to the point of self-delusion. The Quran is filled with verses explicitly instructing Muslims to slay the unbelievers. Read them. Read them in context. See the mental gymnastics involved every time the mantra Islam is peace is uttered. Hearing what Bin Laden has said in countless interviews, fatwas, and grainy videos, can anyone really say that his actions do not stem directly from Islam and the Quran? The following are just a few kernels I picked out of the bag of Bin Laden references to God:

I’m fighting so I can die a martyr and go to heaven to meet God. Our fight now is against the Americans. (Wikiquote)

Hostility toward America is a religious duty, and we hope to be rewarded for it by God. (PBS)

For this and other acts of aggression and injustice, we have declared jihad against the US, because in our religion it is our duty to make jihad so that God’s word is the one exalted to the heights. (PBS)

The flip-side is that some use the undeniable blood on hands of Islam as justification for bigotry.

It is not bigotry to speak ill of Islam, especially considering the harm it has done. It is not bigotry to be fearful of someone or something, whether it be justified fear or not. It is bigotry to discriminate against innocent individuals for simply belonging to a group, to deny those people the rights we all enjoy, to commit violence against them.

The controversy that arose following news that an Islamic Center was being planned to go up on privately owned property in the general vicinity of Ground Zero is an easy example of a blatant attempt to take away the rights of others. Do we really want to start ignoring the right of the people to freely exercise their religion? (I ask this mainly of the majority Christians that made up the outspoken opposition.)

Islam is the problem. Some Muslims are the problem. I see no reason to shy away from saying this, and no reason to exaggerate it.

I Heart Voting in Ohio

Here in Ohio, Secretary of State Jon Husted launched an online poll for Ohioans (or anyone else who knows an Ohio zip code) to vote for a new voting sticker (as many times as they want). This stirred up a bit of controversy because some of the sticker options include the state motto, “With God All Things Are Possible.”

The sticker above was leading the pack (by a lot) before Hement Mehta encouraged readers to vote for the second place sticker, which doesn’t include the motto.

PZ also mentioned the poll and a repeat-voting campaign on the Cleveland Freethinkers Facebook page cropped up. Soon the numbers were close—very close.

The result? God got voted out of Ohio!

Well, sort of—it’s just a stupid sticker and the motto remains. A victory nonetheless. Congratulations, secular Ohio!

Out of the Closet Virtual Billboard Campaign

The Freedom From Religion Foundation is running a virtual billboard campaign asking nonbelievers to declare themselves out of the closet. This is in conjuction with the “Out of the Closet” actual billboard campaign started in Raleigh, NC by FFRF and the Triangle Freethought Society. You can make your own virtual billboard by visiting ffrf.org/out . Mine just got approved; here it is:

Bin Laden Not a Muslim Leader? Obama, Please.

I’m not going to write about Bin Laden’s death or the political ramifications of it. Nor will I write about the conspiracy theories I’m starting to find among my Facebook network. Instead, I want to take issue with one little part of Obama’s little speech.

“Our war is not against Islam, because Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader. He was a mass murderer of Muslims”

Really? Interesting.

Should we forget that Bin Laden declared jihad—defined as a holy war undertaken by Muslims—on the U.S.? And that he opened said declaration with:

It is God that we thank and it is God whose help and forgiveness we seek and whose name we uphold against our own evil and our wrongdoings. Whoever is guided by God cannot be misled and whoever misleads can find no guidance. I declare that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is his subject and messenger. (FBIS Report)

Should we forget that Bin Laden saidthat “Muslims need a leader who can unite them and establish the ‘pious caliphate’.”?

Surely he doesn't mean the Muslim version of paradise...

Should we forget that 30 seconds on Wiki-fuckin-pedia—as Tim Minchin might say—should make it obvious to anyone who can read that Al Qa’ida is an Islamic organization that was headed by Bin Laden?

Should we forget that Joseph Stalin was a Soviet leader and a mass murderer of Soviet people, and accept that because Bin Laden was a mass murder of Muslims that he was not a Muslim leader?

Should we forget Obama’s blatant dishonesty and continual pandering to the religious and reelect him anyway? Well, yeah, I guess the answer is unfortunately “yes” on that last one.

Tweaster

Some of the best and funniest Easter tweets so far today.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 451 other followers