my life « Inside the Atheists Studio

‘A’ Week: Getting Out

March 26, 2011 Leave a Comment

As ‘A’ Week 2011 comes to a close, I thought this would be a good time to stop procrastinating. I’ve been and out atheist for over a decade now, though I wasn’t always as “out” as I am today. So I decided this year I should get out of something other than the closet—the Mormon church.

For many years I didn’t give it much thought, but in recent years I’ve decided I don’t want my name associated with Mormonism any longer—even if it is nothing more than a procedural matter from my perspective.

I spent some time today drafting my letter of resignation, which the LDS Church requires before name removal. Parts of my letter were taken from samples at ExMormon.org and MormonResignation.com with more than a little of my own input. Here is the full text of my letter, which you can feel free to use as a template if you’d like:

[YOUR FULL NAME]

Membership Record No.: [xxx-xxx-xxxx]

DOB: [YOUR DATE OF BIRTH]

Date of baptism: [YOUR DATE OF LDS BAPTISM]

[CURRENT ADDRESS]

[TODAY'S DATE]

Member Records Division, LDS Church

50 E North Temple Rm 1372

SLC UT 84150-5310

This letter is my formal resignation from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and it is effective immediately. I hereby withdraw my consent to being treated as a member and I withdraw my consent to being subject to church rules, policies, beliefs, and “discipline.” As I am no longer a member, please remove the name “[YOUR FULL NAME]” ([MEMBERSHIP RECORD NUMBER]; [DOB]; [DATE OF BAPTISM]) from the records of the LDS Church immediately.

I understand fully the “consequences” of name removal as outlined in Handbook 1: “it cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member, and revokes temple blessings … a person can be readmitted to the Church by baptism and confirmation only after a thorough interview.” (6.14, 2010). I will not be dissuaded and demand that my name be removed immediately, without announcement, and with the 30-day waiting period waived, as required by section 6.14 of Handbook 1.

I find the bulk of theistic doctrine and teachings, including LDS, to be morally repugnant and intellectually bankrupt. I no longer wish to be associated with the LDS Church or any other religion for these and other reasons.

Furthermore, I object to having ever been considered a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints on the grounds that membership forced upon me as a child at the age of eight—well before a person is able to competently make decisions of this nature and well before the legal age of adulthood (18) in the U.S. This letter is written out of necessity due to the unfortunate procedures and policies set forth by the LDS Church, therefore I expect this matter to be handled promptly, with respect and with full confidentiality. This matter is not to be discussed with members of my family, friends, or anyone inside or outside the LDS Church who is not crucial to the process of name removal.

Sincerely,

[NAME SIGNED]

[NAME PRINTED]

You’d probably fine with only name and DOB, but the member number and date of baptism might help avoid hiccups if you have that info.

Also, thanks to some message board, I was able to download a pdf of the church’s updated handbook here (password: martin).

Now I’m off to mail this thing!

Filed under atheism, my life, religion Tagged with A Week, christianity, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Handbook, Latter Day Saint, LDS, Letter of resignation, Mormon, mormonism, Religion and Spirituality

Support a Worthy Cause: Buddy Walk

August 12, 2010 Leave a Comment

The Up Side of Downs Buddy Walk 2010

Sawyer

On the off chance that anyone reads this blog, I wanted to invite you to support a worthy cause.

The 2010 Buddy Walk is being held on Aug. 21 and my nephew, Sawyer, who has Down syndrome, and his team are helping to raise funds for programs and services for people with Down syndrome.

If you’re interested in supporting a worthy, secular cause, please follow this link and click the “Donate” button.

Thank you for helping my nephew and the cause!

Filed under my life Tagged with Buddy Walk, charity, Down syndrome

Going Stag: Wedding Tips

July 16, 2010 Leave a Comment

So I’m off to another wedding tomorrow. I didn’t go to any while I was in Japan so I’m a bit out of practice. I thought this would be a good time to dust off an old Facebook note and review some of my own advice. Perhaps this will be useful to some of you as well!

Many of my friends have gotten married over the past few years and so I’ve attended my share of weddings—usually stag. I’ve learned a few things and thought I’d share a few tips on how to avoid feeling like a total loser when in this situation.

When introduced to a person you’ve already met, always be slightly less sure of your previous encounter than the other person.
This will make the other person feel less important than you. Remember, the goal is to have a higher self-esteem than the rest of the room; by lowering theirs, you lower the overall level of crowd.

You’re probably sitting at the losers’ table; make a friend–quick.
Choose only one. Whomever you choose will likely be more than willing to chat with you, given they are also alone. By being the only two at the table that seem to know each other, you effectively make the rest of the table feel like even bigger losers than they already do. Of course, you will also be raising the self-esteem of your new friend. This is easily remedied by offering to get them a drink from the bar, then forgetting theirs, returning with only your own.

Tip generously.
Let’s face it—the open bar is the main reason you decided to show at all. When getting drinks, be sure to loft your singles into the fishbowl for everyone to see. People will think you make more money than them. Alternatively, you can make this point on a more intimate level by standing just out of reach of the tip bowl and handing your hefty tip to the guy next to you so he can put it in. Don’t worry too much about the money; you’ll still spend less than you would have sitting alone at the Copper Penny, which is what you would have been doing instead.

Get drunk enough to get freaky on the dance floor, but not drunk enough to get freaky with the bride’s 17 year-old sister on the dance floor.
When you have a good buzz going on, you’ll let loose a bit. People will think you are cool and fun. Just don’t end up like the groomsman peeing in the bathroom with his pants around his ankles.

Don’t laugh at the best man’s speech.
This will make others in the room think that your sense of humor is more sophisticated than theirs. Besides, he’s really not that funny. But be sure to grin somewhat smugly at the one or two truly funny parts. You don’t want people to think that you have no sense of humor whatsoever.

Leave early.
By this point you’ve already established yourself as one of the better people at the party. Finish things off by leaving once the major activities have ended. You want to show everyone that you have better things to do and they don’t.

Hope this helped. Have a good time!

Ah yes. I feel much better about the situation now. Oh, and eat some babies.

Filed under fun stuff, my life Tagged with marriage, stag, wedding

No Heaven Allowed!

April 8, 2010 3 Comments

You may not know it, but I teach in English for a living in Japan (which is great because I get to be called Sensei). Today I noticed something rather funny in my coworker’s (who is also my girlfriend) classroom.

This wall covered with pictures from an English grammar book had one pictured crossed out by a 10 year-old girl student:

Cute, but not particularly funny, you say? Perhaps a closer look at the picture she chose would be revealing:

"Everybody goes to heaven eventually."

My initial reaction was of entertainment and awesome. Japan is a very secular country and the fact that a little Japanese girl scribbled out the heaven picture over all the others she could have randomly picked made it that much better. (I keep trying to convince myself that she deliberately chose to deface that picture in an act of defiance, but I find that highly unlikely.)

It wasn’t long though, before I started to think, Why the fuck is some textbook using religion to teach English to Japanese kids?

Filed under fun stuff, my life, religion, secularism Tagged with english, heaven, japan, student, teacher

My Reconversion

April 1, 2010 4 Comments

This may come as a surprise to many of you. I know I write a lot of satire, but this one is from the heart.

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with my beliefs. Because of it, I think I’ve been pushing myself to become more and more involved with the atheist community.

The truth is, I’ve been more of a deist than an atheist for a couple years now. The more I learned about the wonders of the universe, and the precision and complexity of everything within it, the more I realized something or someone must be behind it, and the more I pushed back against the idea—I was scared.

I was so scared that I refused to even admit to myself that my entire adult life has been misguided. If I could have just allowed myself to pray about it—just once—this all could have been behind me much sooner.

Finally, last night, I did just that—I prayed for the first time in over a decade. I don’t want to get into all the details about my experience, but suffice it to say I was overcome with a feeling that was undeniable, yet indescribable.

I realize this personal anecdote is not something that will convince any atheist to convert—nor would I expect any reasonable person to convert without their own experience—but for me it was real. And I’ve turned my thoughts back to Christ.

I’m still not sure how I feel about organized religion, but I know how I feel about God. He exists. I can no longer deny that.

I hope this helps to explain some questions about my recent behavior to those who know me well. Peace.

JK. (^_–)Happy Atheists Day!

Filed under atheism, my life, philosophy, religion, satire, science Tagged with christianity, deism, reconversion

Some Things Don’t Deserve to be Recycled

March 17, 2010 Leave a Comment

So Godless Girl wrote a post called “Tract Evangelism” that reminded me of a fun incident from my college days. I was talking with my boss, my boss’s wife, and coworker friends at a tailgate party in the Glass Bowl parking lot. While I was in the middle of delivering what I’m sure was a profound commentary on something relevant, some girl shoves one of these tracts in front of me and said, “Do you ever wonder what will happen to you after you die?” Without missing a beat I took the tract being “offered” to me, said, “No, I’m not really superstitious,” and tossed the tract into the garbage can next to me, continuing the conversation with my friends. I was proud of myself that day because people thought I was witty and shocking. I’m not usually such a dick, but goddamn it she interrupted me!

Was that wrong of me?